‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.’ Ephesians 5:22-24(NLT)
‘Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. ‘ Matthew 16:24(NLT)
‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ‘ Romans 8:28(NLT)
‘Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord . Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.’ Romans 12:19-21(NLT)
“Submit” is a difficult word to hear. It evokes images of failure and impotence; the exact opposite of how most of us would like to live. We think that submitting to someone means becoming vulnerable, giving up our rights, and surrendering our power.
Yet for all of its negative connotations, submission is a word every Christian should know well. To be a Christian is to submit your life to Christ’s authority and His will, even when difficult.
For thousands of years, Christians have faced emotional, economic, and even physical consequences for their submission. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
Christian submission might be difficult at times, but we can take comfort in knowing that God is good and loving. Even if we cannot fully understand His plan, we can trust that, in the words of Romans 8:28, “all things work together for the good of those who love him.” (Paul wrote those words while sitting in a Roman jail waiting for his day in court.)
But what about wives submitting to their husbands as Ephesians 5:22 commands?
We know that many men have used this verse to demand a submission motivated by selfishness, pride, and an ungodly desire for control. Their actions had very little to do with promoting the good of their wives, and everything to do with promoting their own agendas. This sinful history has caused many women to resist the idea of submission in marriage altogether.
But the Scripture doesn’t say wives should submit only when their husbands happen to do everything right or when there is perfect agreement. Submission implies a conflict of wills. In marriage, it requires wives to choose to follow their husband’s lead, even if they feel they know better. It can be tough to accept the leadership of another, even if that person has a close walk with the Lord. But in the end, when a wife chooses to accept her husband’s leadership, she isn’t submitting to her husband as much as she is submitting to God.
It’s also important to note that the very next few verses in Ephesians provide a very different context for submission than we see in most marriages. Stay tuned.
Note: God’s call for wives to submit to their husbands should never be used to justify physical abuse or demeaning behavior. A wife’s primary role as her husband’s helper would require her to expose such sin to the light in order to get him the help that he needs. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship please read Responding to Physical Abuse by Dennis Rainey
Pray:
Wife: Lord, Help me to submit to You as I accept and follow my husband’s leadership. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Husband: Lord, Help me to lead my wife in a loving and honorable way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians