‘When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ‘ Romans 5:6-8(NLT)
‘“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.’ Deuteronomy 6:4-9(NLT)
One day, I’ll be in awe of my husband, looking at him in adoration as he drives our minivan. The next day, I’m thinking about all the ways he could improve as a father. Maybe I recently listened to a podcast on parenting, and I couldn’t help but think about how much he needed to hear it. Or maybe a friend shared how her husband structures morning quiet times as a family, and now I’m finding my husband’s bedtime readings insufficient.
In turn, I might make a disapproving remark about how there’s some dust on his Bible, or maybe I’ll say nothing at all as I quietly build a wall between us, brick by brick.
I’m willing to bet I’m not alone in holding up a standard for what an “involved Christian dad” looks like—a standard of my own creation rather than God’s.
In the Old Testament, God lays out part of his plan for parents raising children, and it’s surprisingly uncomplicated. He charges parents to intentionally invest in their children and teach them to love God and his laws. They are to be diligent in this and do it all the time. For us today, that means weaving the gospel into the life we’re already living. It doesn’t tell us that carrying out this command has to include a 20-minute family quiet time with Dad on the guitar, leading the children in worship. It just says to do it, however that looks.
Even though faithfulness to that end can be hard, we are the ones overcomplicating it.
Here’s some good news: Because Jesus lived a perfect life in our stead, the pressure is off for both husband and wife to execute perfect parenting. Jesus never missed a teaching moment, he never misspoke or made a theological error, he never had impure motives or an impatient attitude, and he never failed the people around him. He lived a perfect life, and because we have union in Christ, we can trust him with what we have to offer as parents of our children. And if you’re both believers, you each have the gift of the Holy Spirit to help you grow in parenting, maturity, and your understanding of God’s design for the family.
Mom, Christ has measured up on your behalf. Now you can stop comparing your husband to the parenting books, the conferences, or the next-door neighbor. Instead, offer your husband the relentless grace and love you’ve received from your shared inheritance with Christ, celebrating the unique ways your husband is gifted. The gospel gives us a better way for marriage and parenting. Remember, when you were still dead and stuck in your sin, Jesus loved you so much he died for you. Offer that same love to your husband.
Reflect: What false standards are you holding onto for what an “involved Christian dad” looks like? Knowing that Christ has measured up on both your and your husband’s behalf, what’s one specific way you can encourage your husband in the gospel today?
from Risen Motherhood