‘“So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord .”’ Joshua 24:14-15(NLT)
‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ‘ Ephesians 5:25-28(NLT)
‘Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.’ Colossians 3:19(NLT)
I believe there are three specific ways to love your wife the Ephesians 5 way that will change the nature of your relationship: (1) love her sacrificially, (2) love her intentionally, and (3) love her sensitively. The kind of love Jesus has for the church cost him something. The kind of love a husband has for his wife should cost him something too.
One of the ways you can love your wife sacrificially is in how you demonstrate your preferences. When you choose her over the other “loves” in your life, you make a statement about her value to you. For me, a simple decision to go on a walk with my wife instead of watching a much-anticipated NBA game conveyed to her a strong since of worth and even sacrifice. I didn’t know it would have that effect, but my wife later shared how valued she felt when I chose her above watching the game, especially since she understood how much I enjoyed sports.
Love your wife intentionally. Have you ever asked her what her dreams are? How you can help her do what she feels like God created her to do? You are not only her leader; you are also her facilitator. God has given her to you to help support you in your God-given mission in life, but loving her sacrificially means doing the same for her. One of your greatest opportunities in marriage is to purposely seek to develop your wife’s beauty and gifts and to help her grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Love your wife sensitively. Little things are important to your spouse. As you nourish and cherish her, don’t always look for the big gestures. Simple words of encouragement make a huge difference. Calling when you have no reason to call touches her in a way most men will not understand. Planning a date and working out all the arrangements makes her feel secure and loved. It’s what many women call “sensitivity.” It means being aware of what’s going on in her life and being willing to meet her there.
If you are a man, which aspects of sacrificial love seem most challenging to you? What immediate practical steps can you take to love your wife more sacrificially, intentionally, or sensitively? If you are a woman, what attitudes and actions do you think will most help the man in your life grow into his role as the Bible defines it?
from Marriage That Works by Chip Ingram